Being Home

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new. ~Rajneesh

Another snow day. I think this makes 15, or 150. I can't tell a difference anymore. I love how the county posts justifying pictures on their website of our road conditions. We're going to be in school until June, and by then I will be four months larger than I am now and ready to lie on a floaty in the pool.

My friends are going skiing, and skiing--especially the way I ski--is not good for the baby.
So, I did what is good for the baby. I ate.

Then, I went to the grocery store, graded papers for three hours, checked on a plane ticket to Oregon for this summer...
And its only 11:40 a.m.

My goal for the afternoon is to buy a great pair of maternity pants and two cute tops. And if I have to go alone, I can do that. It's just sad to be off work when your husband is at work and your friends are busy.

I'm hoping to be off work this fall, but I'm sort of terrible at being off if its more than a few days. As much as I hate being told what to do, I love it, in so much as I can buck it. Strange. I love the structure of my everyday life. But this fall, my life begins anew. At an as yet undetermined hour, I will be hired as mother, (as in marriage) as long as we both shall live. Requirements in the first few months appear to be (but this is new and I really don't know) feed, clothe, change, play with, comfort baby; put baby down for a nap every two-and-a-half hours, twenty-four hours a day.

I know a few other cool-ladies-with-child, and after we adjust to motherhood, maybe we can hang out. I mean, I really want to stay home with little Story so that I can get to know, care for, create a home for him/her. I guess I'm just realizing that, in the same way that my relationships changed with my friends after they had kids, my relationships with my non-kid friends will probably change. And of course my relationship with Brandon will change some. And we have a whole new person in our life that we are committed to for life. Maybe that's why people's best friends eventually become their kids, and vice-versa.

I just want to still be sociable in regular non-kid company. I just don't want to become the kind of person who talks about that time their kid's poop changed color.